Now that the world is locked down, I’m missing travel and daydreaming about running away to Europe. It made me reflect on all the times I was living in France when I missed being home in the US. It’s a funny feeling – always wanting to be somewhere we’re not. Why does the grass always seem greener? It’s just the human condition to be slightly dissatisfied with whatever we have. 

I had an amazing time as a language assistant with TAPIF  in France but I definitely had days when I wanted to scream and days when I questioned everything about the French system and its infamous bureaucracy. This post is a result of some of those thoughts. Some things I definitely expected – like tiny apartments with washing machines in the kitchen, lack of peanut butter, and no AC – but some other things surprised me.

Convenience 

This is a big one and it covers so many aspects of living. The French have this joie de vivre, focusing on what’s really important in life, like 2 hour lunches with family and friends in a romantic garden bathed in dappled sunlight. This is wonderful of course, but sometimes this just means that life is…slow. It was a shock to my always-on, always-looking-for-something-to-do self. I missed everything being open all the time. Sometimes I felt a bit bored or lonely on a Sunday afternoon and wanted to grab something for a last-minute recipe to cheer myself up, but I couldn’t because nothing was open. Other English assistants I’d befriended during training ended up getting placed far away, plus I didn’t know many people at first. So it’s not like a had a crew to walk through the park with on a laid back Sunday. 

Luckily there was one grocery store attached to a mall that was located just on the outskirts of Montpellier that was open on Sundays. Call me a crazy consumerist American, but I was oddly comforted by the sprawling Casino hypermarche; this place was HUGE, with a cavernous entryway studded with neon lights that reminded me of an airport. Sometimes I would get the urge to just get up and go somewhere, and it felt nice to know that “civilization” still existed on a Sunday at this store. 

There’s also the convenience of being able to do errands online that I missed. One time, I forgot my password for my LCL online bank account. I tried to enter it a few times, and then I got locked out. I thought “ok, no big, just need to reset my password then”. Except, there was no way for me to reset my password online. The webpage told me that I had to present myself in person to the same bank where I opened the account (no other branches which might be closer!) to manually reset the password. I was shocked. I was shook. How could there not be a better way to do this? What if I needed to move money RIGHT NOW to my great aunt for her cat’s surgery that was about to die?! We will never know.

A similar thing happened with my Air France frequent flyer account. I went to log in, but couldn’t get the password right. Again, there didn’t seem to be a way to unlock the account online, so I called them. The nice french gentleman told me that I’d have to mail in some form internationally to reset my password. I paused and laughed just to make sure it wasn’t a joke. The man on the other end with his serious French self reassured me that no, it definitely was not a joke, and that I should be preparing a signed letter stat. He might as well have asked me to send in an apostilled copy of my birth certificate by pigeon as well. I thanked him, and said I would. That was six years ago. I decided that my 1,000 or so miles just weren’t worth the hassle. I will no longer be Flying Blue, thank you!

I imagined things have improved now, since this was in 2013. But my general impression remains that France is years behind in terms of anything related to technology and user-friendliness. I understand that there is a trade-off here. The focus on French culture is not on instant gratification. There is a process to things, and the process must be followed. The French are not always plugged in and always available the way we expect American services to be. And that is part of their charm I guess.

Although, I am happy to report that good did come from all this: I have learned to take better care in remembering my passwords.

Credit cards

Something I was shocked to discover in France was the lack of people with credit cards. Everyone just used debit or cash. The French aren’t big on debt. Whenever I told them how much I borrowed to get a degree, they would invariably gasp and then bend down to kiss the French soil. Well, not that last part, but they were really offended by the amount.

I guess in the US, debt is just a part of life; the average American has about $6k in consumer debt, with many Americans having much, much more. I used a French debit card like everyone else while I was there, but my crazy self missed having rewards cards and racking up points. Heck, the only reason I could fly to France at all was because I’d used the points from a credit card deal. I’m a responsible card user who has thankfully never had to carry a balance, but I just like knowing that if I had to spend money I don’t have, I could. Yes, I know, my America is showing.

There was a moment in Italy when I realized I had spent my last euro and had to borrow money from a friend. I had gone into the negative while fulfilling a lifelong dream of eating nonstop gelato and thin-crust pizza. A credit card would have come in handy then until my french paycheck came in two weeks.

Having a credit card is a security net that is actually a death trap, and the reason I feel I need that safety net in the first place is because so much about living in America is unaffordable. Even though I’m now one of the lucky ones who has enough, I’m constantly on edge wondering if I ‘d have enough in an emergency. The French wouldn’t need this safety net because many of their immediate needs are already taken care of. In the US, we are constantly having to shell out cash for medical expenses, food and other necessities. But that’s a big hairy issue that needs several volumes to discuss.

Eating whenever

I’m a heavy snacker. Always have been. Especially if I have to do an undesirable task, like sit and study for a while, I need something to munch. This doesn’t bode well for lifestyle in France, because the French eat at very specific times. This is probably just me being self-conscious, but man did I feel like I was breaking rules when I would choose to eat at off hours. Is it ever hard to eat out at 4:30 pm! Everything is closed, in preparation for the dinner hours when normal people eat. My slob american self likes to know that I can reach food nirvana at 3 pm if I should so choose.  Even if I came home from school, tired and hungry, at 4 pm and started cooking , my landlady would say “mais c’est pas l’heure de manger!“.

I remember one time when I had to chaperone the 3rd grade kids on an excursion in Sete before a sailboat ride. They were all carrying their little snacks with them. We stopped to break for a little and one girl asked me if she could have a cookie. I thought, “well of course why not. It’s your cookie, and you want to eat it. We were no longer bound by the school’s organized breaks on this informal trip, so now’s as good a time as any for a snack. Why is that a question?” So I said yes and she grinned then started unwrapping her little snack. Then the native French teacher came back and was aghast : “mais non! Why is everyone snacking!” She looked at me as if I had given the kids poison on a platter. The cookie offender pointed at me sheepishly.

Then I realized my mistake. “Oh. Snacking only happens at specific times and I have broken that golden rule.” I am probably still embarrassed about that.

Running 

There isn’t much of a running culture in France, at least not when I was there. I might see an odd jogger every other week or so, but nothing to match the runners found in every trail in the US. Even when then-president Sarkozy was roasted for running in shorts through the Bois de Vincennes in 2010, it was considered “undignified”, with some talking head urging him to take up walking instead. Of course, leave it to France to turn the question of “to run or not to run” into a philosophical argument. I’m sure it isn’t as elegant or refined as some other physical activities, as is definitely the case with my awkward self, but it just feel good!

Working out, in general just isn’t very French. There was only one gym in the area of Montpellier where I lived, and it was tiny. I think the cost was also way more than I could afford on my measly teaching assistant salary. It’s interesting to think about why this is though. French people don’t really need gyms. If abs are made in the kitchen, the French are cooking up flab-free bodies every day. They eat balanced meals at predicable times and don’t snack. The food is more likely fresh, and of high quality. If French people are enjoying a treat like a chocolate eclair once in a while, it isn’t full of preservatives, fake ingredients , or fat-inducing sugar like its American equivalent. Us Americans really do have to work harder to remain fit if we are to partake in the mainstream food supply.

Anyway, I missed this side effect of American unhealthiness. I tend to get restless if I don’t run for a few days. I tried a couple times –and maybe this is just me being self-conscious again-but I felt like people were giving me odd looks as I ran through the town like a wounded animal. I missed the Silly Santa Run and the Drunken Eastern Bunny 5k where everyone looked stupid together! But that’s too undignified for France I guess. I took the hint and decided to go on long walks instead.

These are just a few things I missed about living in the US after being in France. Some things I was accustomed to having in the US were hard to beat out of me. And during weak moments it was easy to turn on my internal Deni Downer. There will always be times when you’re grumpy at the end of a long day and don’t want to “appreciate the beautiful differences” and that’s OK. Part of traveling is understanding that every place is going to have its quirks and drawbacks.

But if you ask me if I still want to run away to Europe, the answer is still yes.

I’m not sure if these things can be applied to some other parts of Europe, or what has changed since 2013. Let me know if you experienced anything (the sillier the better!) that made you miss your home country.